Killer Hug

Two Artists' Works That I Believe Will Never Stop Impressing The Crap Out Of Me No Matter How Long I Live

2011-01-13T23:43:00.014-05:00

Robert Morris' felt sculptures

Steven Parrino

Maps of How We Perceive Color

2011-01-11T01:36:00.004-05:00

I had the luck to study photo color theory with MJ Toles in undergraduate school at CIA. It was so meaty I took the course twice to get to digest it better, and one of the perks was the chance to take the rare "Farnsworth-Munsell 100 Hue Color Test for the examination of Color Discrimination" pigment test. Rare only in the fact that this beautiful kit costs over seven hundred dollars and must be taken only in pristine daylight lighting conditions to truly be accurate. "If natural daylight is used, the test should be given near a window illuminated chiefly from the north sky, lightly to moderately overcast." Color is tricky.

But there was a point to the specifics, as it was an experience that not only was a color test for your vision, but also functioned as an experiment where the only variable became your BRAIN and how it perceives color. I'm still so awestruck by this map of how my brain perceives color hues-- I seem to get fuzzy with cool tone green hues, and warm toned blue greens, but not enough to not be considered well within the norms of a very good and average discriminator of color. Imagine that! Your orange-red could be a different orange-red to me, but my blue green is a different blue-green to you. And this isn't colorblindness, but within the norm of about 70% of the population. (There is only about 16% of the population that has "Superior Discrimination" or, a perfect circle in the smallest ring, and about 16% of the population could have significant difficulties to be considered some degree of color blindness.)

Notes from a book called "Quantum Psychology: Steps Toward A Postmodern Ecology of Being"

2010-12-12T21:38:00.004-05:00

I did a heavy room clean today and found notes from this book I was slowly digesting during my fifth year of undergrad. After reading these notes from a book written by the psychologist Stephen DeBerry, I realized that this really started a breaking point of my earlier undergrad work to the substances I worked with after these notes and continue to work from now.

Here are some favorites from these rediscovered notes:

Our Universe-> from isolated arena of fragmented and seperate objects to an ecological network of interconnected possibilities. From people as a collection of separate symptoms to a holistic concept of what it means to be alive.

"The first step is to measure whatever can be easily measured. This is okay as far as it goes. The second step is to disregard that which can't be measured or give it an arbitrary quantitative value. This is artificial and misleading. The third step is to presume that what can't be measured easily isn't very important. This is blindness. The fourth step is to say that what can't be easily measured really doesn't exist. This is suicide" - Daniel Yankelovich

IT IS EXPERIENCE, NOT THEORY, THAT IS MOST MEANINGFUL AND MUST COME FIRST

"A quantum approach entails a system of probability in which all possible outcomes are considered. This does not mean that clusters or patterns do not develop from the experience of one's upbringing... patterns reflect general possibilities of tendencies of behavior, where as symptoms reflect specific events. Patterns are dynamic and interactive, whereas symptoms are static and discreet.
Psychological patterns, like waves and particles in the physical universe are interactive; they do not manifest themselves unless certain conditions exist. Interestingly enough, these conditions depend on what we are looking for as well as the methods we employ."

CONSCIOUSNESS PLAYS A ROLE IN CONSTRUCTING REALITY.

The everyday world in which we live clearly follows a Newtonian, classical cause and effect paradigm that is implicated in one of the central paradoxes that quantum psychology inspires. THE PARADOX IS THAT THE COMMONSENSE, ORGANIZED CASUAL WORLD WE INHABIT IS BUILT ON A STARTINGLY MYSTERIOUS, SUBATOMIC, QUANTUM WORLD. In some clandestine manner, it is the interaction of these levels of reality that results in our world being.

Epistemic dualism: a method of reasoning that distinguishes between what in principle must be true and what in reality can be accomplished.

Some concepts:
1. Complementarity "The universe can never be described in a singular, unitary matter, but rather, must be understood through multiple, overlapping reality and perspectives. Such layers of reality sometimes complement one another, but often, they are paradoxical." Niels Bohr

2. Consciousness: "If consciousness cannot affect matter, then it is the only scientific example where one system (matter) can effect another system (mind) without being affected itself." E.P. Wigner

3. The interaction of systems.

4. Non-linearity and non-locality.

Non-linearity: Chaos: "The irregular, unpredictable behavior of deterministic, non-linear dynamical systems and dynamics freed at last from the shackles of order and predictability... systems liberated to randomly explore their every dynamical possibility... exciting variety, richness of choice, a cornucopia of opportunity." Gleick
Non-locality: the ability to comprehend something like the actuality of 1 billion people or god
"Questioning makes one open, makes one sensitive, makes one humble. We don't suffer from our questions, we suffer from our answers. Most of the mischief in the world comes from people with answers, not from people with questions." -John Needleman

Quantum Buttons (based on non-local theories of quantum mechanics)

Can be thought of as emotional triggers
Represent sensitive configurations of consciousness that are often below our level of awareness (prelinguistic)
Resonate in and activate unconscious or split-off parts of early perverbal emotional memories

Quantum Effects: ripples; wavelike after effects of the triggered event (artistic creations, especially music)

Schizoid Phenomena: Indicates a division or split within the mind, and therefore are, in every general way, related to the problem of consciousness.

Psychological dimensions that are affected by schizoid conditions are:

Behavior– becomes inconsistent and situational
Emotions- represented primarily as a psychological process affected by schizoid phenomena (split off from awareness)
Thoughts- thoughts and emotions are two complimentary modes of processing information
Sensations
Imagery

Less Seriously

2010-12-11T02:00:00.008-05:00

Allowing myself to not take myself seriously has made the world of a difference, and I owe a lot of it to the wise words of George Carlin found on YouTube, on The View no less.

To see the entire video click here. Below is a translation of him speaking from 3:55 to 4:33. I highly recommend watching all of it, though. Its chock full of excellence on his part.

"When I first changed the kind of stuff I was doing in the late sixties–– I had been a suit and tie comic out of the fifties and I had short hair and all that–– and I realized I was doing the wrong thing for the wrong people and I let myself change into more of a freer (if you would use the word hippie) look and attitude and I realized that, um, I said to my wife at that time when I changed I said, "You know even if I only filled coffeehouses three days a week for the rest of my life I'd be happy doing that." And when you let go of goals and stuff, I mean the attachment to goals–– that's when things come to you. You should have an end point, but not a thing like that."

Loss of Magic

2010-07-24T16:59:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about how things deeply affect you at a certain point in your life, and then as age and knowledge progress the effects in relation to the same thing is diminished. Not just in respect to art but in respect to practically everything and the loss of magic when

knowledge is gained

romance is lost

ability conquers desire.

The distinct thing that attracts the current you and can override age and wisdom is when a certain aura of a thing resonates with you, undeniably a visceral reaction that cannot be overruled by any logic. Art and landscape can have the most profound power in these terms, however it seems to change over time what those specific things are–– because you and your world are constantly changing, which in turn changes relationships between yourself and something that is commonly perceived as static.

What remains a constant is that certain alchemical reaction that creates magic. However the elements-- you and a certain thing (place/object/situation), are the variables in the setting of time. The same object, therefore, ten years from before might not create the same reaction anymore because you are chemically a different being. Your relationship to this certain thing now has a history. You cannot perceive it without a deep remembrance of a previous exchange and therefore the reality of the current relationship is now defined through remembrance instead of presence, unless the “same” thing can generate something new to your new self with the right chemistry to create magic.

Mono studies

2010-03-29T19:56:00.002-04:00

Color studies

2010-03-29T19:49:00.005-04:00

Coping as Indulgence or Vice Versa

2010-03-29T18:32:00.023-04:00

In my studio the past few weeks I've been thinking about the concept of coping. I've had a tumble of a first year in grad school because I've been trying to take apart and analyze my painting which turns to analyzing my life in the same manner.

In this I realize that painting can function to me as a method of coping with the things I find so frustrating with being in a consumer culture–– because the fact is I indulge in it as much as I am critical of it, and that gives me no ground to criticize it. (I believe there's a huge difference between being critical and criticizing–– one implies judgment and the other does not.) And when deconstructing my work I become stuck–– nothing productive comes out of it which means not enough painting!

A studio visit last week from Nigel Rolfe brought out his observation that all the problem solving is happening in my head, not the canvas. I agreed, and we both agreed that this needed to change. Problems must be solved in the painting! So what does that mean? Indulging in paint, coping with the culture and indulging and playing instead of just being critical. I shouldn't take myself so seriously all the time, I suppose. I don't know if I'll ever know how to criticize my culture properly without becoming a big giant hypocrite, and I think that is a good thing.

Once I made the decision to indulge in painting again, I exploded all over this eight by ten foot canvas that has been making fun of me all semester and finally slammed it done. My current hypothesis is that this frustration is a huge part of the fuel for my emotive content, and maybe that instead of trying to find a way to criticize, I can be more honest and sincere if I articulate my frustration of being unable to criticize, because boy oh boy do I love indulging in the things that I know I shouldn't indulge in.

Lost in Riga

2008-06-21T22:18:00.000-04:00

Once years ago she promised to herself that she would listen to that song off the Breeder's album Last Splash underwater. The one where Kim Deal sings as it sounds like she is slowly drowning. Today was the day to fulfill the promise. She had nothing else going for her. Or any day for that matter. Here she was, in Riga, Latvia with nothing but a big hunk of borrowed money in her checking account and an increasing amount of billowing fat forming around the donut of her middle. Her friend Edgars wouldn't get home from work for another two hours. That was enough saunter of a time to fill the tub and turn up his speakers. Strip off her clothes. Pretend she was invisible. Feel the water surface break at her skin. Erase anxieties of her ambiguous future.

The water has skimmed the bottom of the tub. She sits in, legs stretched out, with the pouring shower head clasped to her heavy heart. The album should reach the song just as the water covers her ears. Time expands and contracts like ocean swells here in Riga. Food is eaten out of hobby, air is sucked in two lungs at a time, martinis litter stomachs, films play with three simultaneous translations, and minds continue to knot while hearts dream of mending.

Here is the middle of everything. The spaceinbetween is Latvia. Perceptions overlap into each other. Its the only place where she's confused seagulls for stars, words for singing, water for diamonds, and... she forgets the other misplaced thought. These moments were not to be confused with whimsical imagination; when these experiences happened they were profound and forced her to question her sanity.

She slides forward and places her legs against the wall so her body lies in the tub. Her hair spiders out- each strand half dry while pinching the surface of the water. It is close to the point where her ears will be under. She listens to the slapping of the water as it bubbles around her ears. Baths are the only time she allows herself to feel calm here. The water lets her shed the weight of the stress from her overwhelming and borderless freedom. In here she listens to music and stares at the edges of flesh and water.

Here it comes.

Her ears are under. The water rushing out of the shower head is now underwater and makes a distant hissing echo around her. The song starts up. Its just loud enough to be heard under there. The water level raises some more. The edge of her nostril. She arches her neck until the water is deep enough to sculpt an air pocket glued in place with nose hair.

Kim Deal sings to her. She hears it back underwater. They are fish communicating. Edges blur. Does she hear the sound of water over music or music underwater through water. Or is it...

The bass guitar creates a cradle over the water's slither. She is sailing in a boat of sound, slowly drowning as the water surface performs feats of cartography on her skin.

Sound and touch is interchangeable- much like the confusion of intermingling sights and sounds that exist in this nook of the world. Borders are lost in a land where the borders were taken and renamed and slaughtered. With her eyes open wide underwater she sees nothing but the white ceiling.

She is surprised with her decisions- with a passport and a wad of cash, she feels trapped in a friend's flat in a small country whose name most have never heard. She is sinking and hiding into nothing. And as the water washes over her entirely, hair moving as a jellyfish's tendrils, she notices that in this borderless place that edges become most meaningful. She stares at the glass pane of water over her and thinks this thought. It is entirely possible that she can disappear from this world and be mistaken for something she was not- quite like the seagulls she mistook as falling stars the night before.